My Corona Diary (Take VII): From 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, With Love

<"From 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., With Love

(Take I)"/The Reckoner>

<i.> A Few Preliminaries

Some absurdities do a great job of speaking for themselves. Normally, I'd snap a photo of the following object, and upload it, but our regular camera has bitten the dust, and the one we're borrowing is the latest, greatest piece of tech that doesn't have a downloading cord to plug into your computer! Which means, you have to take it out to Walgreens, and do the honors there, for $7.99 a pop. To which I can only say..

"Ick! So much for user-friendly!"

For The Squawker and myself, imagine our surprise to see our stimulus check arrive the old-fashioned way last month -- by mail, and on paper, too. That felt strange, because we've been doing it the electronic way these last few years, so we just figured that Uncle Sam would do the decent thing...and deposit it electronically, as he's done in the past.

We were so busy, I didn't get to look closely at Trump's signature lurking on that official yellow piece of paper. Remember all the fuss he made, that he actually sign your stimulus check? 

Guess what? The Tangerine Toddler got me to look at it, anyway, thanks to this letter that arrived, from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (a/k/a The White House), with love -- also, on paper, and also, separately -- via the same US mail that our GOP-led government "forgot" to budget lately:

"Your Economic Impact Payment Has Arrived

"My Fellow American:

"Our great country is experiencing an unprecedented public health and economic challenge as a result of the global coronavirus pandemic. Our top priority is your health and safety. As we wage total war on this invisible enemy, we are also working around the clock to protect hardworking Americans like you from the consequences of the economic shutdown. We are fully committed to ensuring that you and your family have the support you need to get through this time.

"On March 27, 2020, Congress passed with overwhelming bipartisan support the Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security Act (CARES Act, which I proudly signed into law. I want to thank the United States House of Representatives and the United States Senate for working so quickly with my Administration to fast-track this $2.2 trillion in much-needed economic relief to the American people.

"This includes fast and direct economic assistance to you.

"I am pleased to notify you that as provided by the CARES Act, you are receiving an Economic Impact Payment of XXXX by check/debit card. We hope this payment provides meaningful support to you during this period.

"Every citizen should take tremendous pride in the selflessness, courage and compassion of our people. America's drive, determination, motivation and sheer willpower have conquered every previous challenge -- and they will conquer this one, too. Just as we have before, America will triumph yet again -- and rise to new heights of greatness.

"We will do it together, as one nation, stronger than ever before.

(Signed...)

For more information on our Economic Impact Payment, please visit IRS.gov/coronavirus or call 800-919-9835.

<"From 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., With Love

(Take II)"/The Reckoner>

<ii.> A Few Takeaways

Strangeness abounds on any Trump project, and this letter's no exception. A few takeaways that have occurred to me, since I stuck the letter back on top of my desk:

1. The flipside of the letter features the same message...in Spanish. Seems odd, in light of Trump's demonization of the Latino community as "abusers," "animals," "criminals," "killers," and "rapists" -- to name a few of the less off-color terms he's used -- and his flatlining approval/electoral/poll standings (take your pick). 

Maybe he thinks the $1,200 or $2,400 check gets Latinos to shrug it off, and say, "All is forgiven"? If so, that's even more insulting than the name-calling.

2. "Our top priority is your health and safety." Then why push so hard to reopen an economy without some reassuring signs on the horizon, like, uh, I don't know -- the development of a vaccine? Or pushing all these companies with their fuzzily worded, gauzily condescending, huffing and puffing of "We're all in this together" advertising, to pay something like a living wage? 

On the bright side, I'm happy to see that we've settled, once and for all, whether we should drinking bleach, or injecting Lysol, to beat the virus. As Mr. Mackey, our friend from South Park, would say: Drinking bleach is bad, kids, m'kay? Just like shooting up Lysol, m'kay? So don't do it. Maybe Trump should ask him for an endorsement.

3. "As we wage total war on this invisible enemy, we are also working around the clock to protect hardworking Americans like you from the consequences of the economic shutdown."  Seems a bit rich, right, from a guy who doesn't start before 11:00 a.m.? Whose first task consists of madly Tweeting as he watches Fox News? 

Oh, and let's not forget his other big passion, golf, which he played for the first time last month since the pandemic broke out. Even in the face of death, a man's gotta swing his nine-iron, right? 

But this quote from Mark Meadows, to the New York Post, sums up the surrealism of the current mood in the White House bunker, better than I ever could: "I can tell you that the biggest concern I have is making sure he gets some time to get a quick bite to eat." With so many millions starving, it's good to know that our Commander-in-Chief isn't going to bed on an empty belly. 

4. The separate mailing of the actual check, and the cover letter, suggests some cunningly perverse plan on Trump's part -- preserving the US Postal Service that he's striving so hard to de-fund. But it's also a classic doublethink tactic -- the idea of holding two contradictory beliefs, no matter how contradictory, as George Orwell noted in 1984. On that evidence, Trump would have fit comfortably into any Politburo.

5. "We will do it together, as one nation, stronger than ever before." Try selling that to the protesters currently facing rubber bullets and tear gas, as they do in banana republics across the globe. Try selling that to George Floyd's family. Try selling that to the 75-year-old man who got shoved to the ground in Buffalo, by his city's over-militarized occupying army (excuse me, "police force"). Try selling that to anybody with an IQ above room temperature.

Well, what did you expect? 

This is Trumpworld, where no corner is too sharp to cut, where no procedure escapes without a serious gaming, where madness and mania runs through the proceedings like a red thread, where the fingerprints shine ever so brightly on the gun, one dripping in the blood, sweat and tears of the countless millions who have been shoved under the bus, to make way for the next crate load of unfortunates.

We'll see what round two brings, I guess, if it materializes. But seriously, guys...next time, leave the cover letter in your computer, okay? And maybe then, we could all get some sleep. -- The Reckoner