My Corona Diary (Take VI): I Just Flew In With This Virus (And Boy, Are My Arms Tired)

<"Turn That Frown (Upside Down)":
Take I: The Reckoner>

<i.>

You've all seen the adverts, I'm sure. Or most of us, anyhow. Look! There's Eva Longoria, swanning around with the hair color she's been hired to convince you to buy.  Isn't quarantining a blast? There they are again! A young woman tightly hugging her child, as they spin like a top around the kitchen in slow kitchen. It's Nestle's latest creation, I think.

Shock and awe! As young and old alike giddily chase each other across the screen, doing silly dances, kitting out their masks with silly artwork of some sort, or snuggling each other tightly on the couch. My, my, just look at them...settling in by the TV, for their umpteenth evening of enforced fun, that's no different than the umpteenth one last week. And the umpteenth one last month. And the umpteenth one before then. All this happens in the name of GEICO ("One good share deserves another"). 

But honestly, even the non-COVID-related adverts are f#cking annoying as well, like "Nothing Is Everything," which is flogging Skyrizi's psoriasis drug. I actually don't mind the backing track, which I'd describe as a catchy slice of techno-reggae that i started back in the '80s. But the novelty of hearing that bouncy three-word chorus, "Nothing is every-thiiinnnggg," has worn off long ago. 

I swear...if I hear it one more time, I'm going to go f#cking insane. The whole business feels oddly surreal. We may die, but we can rest easy, knowing we've got clear skin. What a country.

What else? Well, there's Facebook Messenger flogging themselves with a laidback acoustic remake of "All Together Now" (The Beatles), as the participants cheerfully roll basketballs, run through their exercise routines, or (naturally) huddle over the electronic campfire. They're all cheerful as chipmunks. Not a frown in sight.

My apartment complex got in on the act, too. When the pandemic first hit, they asked us for creative recipes, goofy photos of loved ones and pets, and organizational hacks, among other things. That request came right after the long, foreboding list of changes that they'd rolled out to their daily procedures.

My response comes comes down to four words...

"Are you 

kidding me?"

<"Turn That Frown (Upside Down)":
Take II: The Reckoner>

<ii.>

All of the above images may feel A) giddily nostalgic, or B) glibly reassuring, or C) serving as some vague point of inspiration. Take your pick. What line sounds more appealing? A) Hey, look at what we did, without thinking about it. We lined up right behind each other, without fear. B) Whatever happens, we'll get through somehow. We did it before, we'll do it again. It's what America's all about. C) Rally round the flag, boys, rally round the flag, Remember the Eighties.

If you said, "None of the above," you're actually paying attention. Because, honestly, there's nothing the least bit amusing or gut-busting or side-splitting about how we got into this situation, or the failures of the political class that helped to unleash it. The same goes for Sunday's front page of the New York Times, which showcased 1,000 COVID-related deaths -- one percent of the overall US toll (100,000) -- by highlighting some brief facts about each of them, alongside their name, age, city, and state. 

These people weren't statistics. They were somebody's father, mother, sister, brother, husband, wife, friend, partner, significant other, whatever you call it -- they don't deserve to be forgotten amid a sea of cold type and newsprint. The Times chose an appropriate way to humanize them. 

You can't paper over that reality with a creative recipe, or a goofy photo, or organizational hack -- let alone some advert trying to gull you into buying something that just happens to fit the Big Pharma blueprint. Why aren't we pushing back?

And that's before we get to the financial grind that continues eating away at people's hearts and pocketbooks. I'm hardly driving that much, so why am I paying the full monthly whack to my insurance company? Shouldn't my rate go down somewhat? For that matter, why shouldn't any of these entities to whom I shell out so much money do likewise?

Shouldn't the Republican-led political class that controls so much of the federal government made similar adjustments? Even if they do yank away that extra $600 a week in unemployment -- that, apparently, so many people aren't getting, because so many states didn't bother to invest in their own computer systems -- what's the point of promising some "new normal," when so many jobs aren't coming back? Well, I think know the answer to that one, actually...

Empathy, shmempathy. 

The only time Republicans ever feel that emotion is when their rich cronies swarm their offices en masse, looking for the lifeboats they don't deserve. For everyone else, it's, "You're on your own. And oh yeah, if you do get a paddle, it's gonna cost you 300 bucks instead of the usual 30. Have a nice one."

But these are the issues questions I want people to continue asking, rather than cranking out goofy pictures or or hacks or memes or silly artwork. Because the last thing I want to hear right now, "I just flew in with this virus. And boy, are my arms tired." Cue the rimshot:

Ba-boomp! 

But seriously, folks...a funny thing happened to me on my way to sheltering in place for the next few months. --The Reckoner