Thursday, May 31, 2012
Advice To Fiftysomethings: A Ramen Noodle Nation Primer
See the President giving an interview.
His brow wrinkles with concern.
"When you lose your job in your 50s, it's a lot tougher," he admits,
"Because a lot of employers say to themselves,
'Well, I might have to pay those people more...'
No kidding, Sherlock! So what's the answer?
Well, how about doing a little retraining,
Preferably for an industry that's hiring now?
Don't get too picky, though: on average, older workers
Stay idle for 60 weeks, versus 38.5*
For their younger, (presumably) perkier counterparts.
OK, maybe that's why all those "WE BUY GOLD" places
Are making so many inroads throughout Small Town USA...
Along with the payday loan outlets, bingo halls
And fast food franchises!
Next time you see Mom, Dad, Grandpa
Or someone else in your immediate family
Sweating away for minimum wage, tell yourself:
"It's a dirty job, but at least they get to do it."
Then pray like hell it won't be your turn some day:
McJobs are pretty unforgiving places for atheists.
(*Source: American Association Of Retired Persons, Public Policy Institute)
To anyone who ever read -- and dug -- MAD Magazine's primers of the '70s...this post is for you.