Thursday, May 31, 2012

Advice To Fiftysomethings: A Ramen Noodle Nation Primer


See the President giving an interview.  

His brow wrinkles with concern.
"When you lose your job in your 50s, it's a lot tougher," he admits,
"Because a lot of employers say to themselves,
'Well, I might have to pay those people more...'
No kidding, Sherlock!  So what's the answer?
Well, how about doing a little retraining,
Preferably for an industry that's hiring now?
Don't get too picky, though: on average, older workers
Stay idle for 60 weeks, versus 38.5*
For their younger, (presumably) perkier counterparts.
OK, maybe that's why all those "WE BUY GOLD" places
Are making so many inroads throughout Small Town USA...
Along with the payday loan outlets, bingo halls
And fast food franchises!

Next time you see Mom, Dad, Grandpa
Or someone else in your immediate family
Sweating away for minimum wage, tell yourself:
"It's a dirty job, but at least they get to do it."
Then pray like hell it won't be your turn some day:
McJobs are pretty unforgiving places for atheists.
  --The Reckoner
(*Source: American Association Of Retired Persons, Public Policy Institute)

To anyone who ever read  -- and dug -- MAD Magazine's primers of the '70s...this post is for you.

17 comments:

  1. most people 50 plus have done alright, previously and now, its just the ones that have outlived their usefulness that have the problem

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  2. Lovely to see that social darwinism still has its dogged defenders...but I suspect that those who are 50 and over, and are struggling to find any kind of a job, might have a rather take than yours, I suspect.

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    1. I'm sure there are some and they can disagree all they want, but they have to live with themselves and their excuses. there will always be ones that make bad decisions, fall thru the cracks, unlucky...its called life.

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  3. I suspect that you'll sing a rather different tune when they shove you out of the lifeboat, dear boy...but I digress.

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    1. No worries here. the lifeboat belongs to me. I'm sure if you had become successful you wouldn't be whining about your miserable existence on a homeless blog. see it goes both ways

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    2. Oh, my God...People like "Cnote" is what's wrong with the world..but wait a minute, he would make a great congressman, wouldn't He? Ramen, how do you keep your cool with people like this...God help me!

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    3. Why is cnote, this supposedly successful person, showing so much interest in this blog? And then has nothing useful to contribute? --quartz

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    4. Sorry I missed your comment earlier, but I've posted it. As to your question, well, everybody's got to find some way to pass the time, right? --The Reckoner

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  4. cnote, old chap, do get some counseling for your aversion to social conscience, and deep-seated hatred of anyone who doesn't have money.

    Miserable? Homeless? Quite the opposite, old chap...I'm a '77-era punker, write and musician who doesn't feel the need to apologize to anyone for my opinions, least of all you.

    But do keep coming back, if that encourages you to get another brick in your general direction.

    Anonymous: On behalf of the Little Englander Auxiliary, I can proudly attest to our ability for keeping cool under fire. If the Jerries couldn't break us...I shudder to think how poor cnote will fare, by comparison. Thanks for chipping in, dear boy.

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    1. I don't know what you are, but you don't seem too successful. maybe too many anarchist readings down at the coffee shop. and I don't know any homeless, moneyless people. you type people turn my stomach. whiny, poverty pimps.

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    2. That's what breeds your hatred, dear boy...that you don't know anybody who isn't blessed with loads of money.

      Perhaps this advice from Sir Dennis Healey may come in handy -- he once said, "The first rule of politics is...when you're in a hole, stop digging."

      But that's what I love about you, mate... ypu come back for more, and the hole gets just a bit deeper still.

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  5. My wingman, The Squawker, may be back to weigh in later on this whole affair, as well -- thanks again, Anonymous, old chap.

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  6. Cnote the life boat belongs to you? LOL Dream on...

    The Squawker....

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    1. squawker ...you too can be bashed ans insulted. where are all you followers and commenters? you people? are just poverty pimps

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    2. This is a NEW blog...anyhow how's the spamming working out for you? The website seemed kind of dull, looks like you could jazz it up a bit and not have it so pedestrian.

      As for poverty pimps, doesn't one have to be better off to be a pimp and profiting off others...

      Hmmmmmm --_The Squawker

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  7. Anonymous: this isn't the real world here - don't get so emotional. now get back in your box

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    1. I've got a question for Mrs. cnote -- or Ms. cnote, shall we say -- how do you sleep with an iceberg? Answers on a postcard, please.

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