Strange things happen once your income drops. One side effect is all the people coming out of the woodwork, who can't wait to help you. No, you read that right. That's not a misprint. Let me share my latest experience, and you'll see what I mean.
Due to our present status (or lack thereof), The Squawker and I belong local food co-op. Well, it's basically a food bank, run by one of our local churches, which means you show up twice a month for meetings, and pay $6 to pick up your food.
This is the only food bank I've seen that gives you meats, which has never happened anywhere else, and you also get lots of staples -- eggs, fresh veggies, plus a commodities box -- which has all definitely helped fill our larder. It's a notch up from what we usually get.
Since it's a church, the less welcome part is the "Life 101" aspect, as I call it. Usually, that means brief lectures from a nurse or doctor at the hospital (Did you get your flu shot today?, and so on). Last week turned out a little different, though.
We had a different guest last week, though -- somebody talking about money management. "Okay, brace yourself, Squawker," I said, under my breath. "This better be good."
And it was, but unintentionally so. The woman (let's call her Pollyana Pennypacker) focused on tracking your spending, which seems reasonable enough. Then she held up the notebook (see Exhibit A above).
"I had a woman who couldn't pay her light bill," Pollyanna said. "It was $69. She said, 'I don't eat out.' Then she said, 'Well, I went to McDonald's, but that's not eating out.' We went through her receipts, and it turned out, she'd spent that $69 on little trips like that. So, whatever you do, write it down. Then you won't spend it!"
Pollyanna then began passing out little notebooks, which the church was apparently giving us, so we wouldn't even think of straying to the counter for that $1 McChicken.
I don't know how many $1 McChickens will send you down the Freeway To Financial Hell. In our household, we've never seen a light bill under $100. Or a phone bill under $90. Or an insurance bill under $190, to keep our eight- and 15-year-old cars street legal.
I took the notebook, though, to be polite. But I couldn't resist the urge to crack wise. Once our meeting ended, I cornered Pollyanna in the church parking lot. "Thanks for the advice," I said, "but you know something? If I'd known you guys were giving me a notebook, I wouldn't have bought one of my own, for a buck."
Pollyanna didn't miss a beat. "Where do you think these came from?" She held up a stack of unissued notebooks. "You can get four of these for a buck at Dollartree."
I forced a smile, thinking about last Sunday, when I didn't have a dime to misspend, even if I'd wanted to, because we had to drop those last 20 bucks for lunch and dinner. I had more money coming Monday, but even so, I didn't appreciate the aggravation.
"Yeah," I said, "I know all about Dollartree. It's made a difference to our budget. We're regulars there, almost every other day, because..." I let the sentence hang in the air, as Pollyanna hurried to palm off another of those notebooks. My salvation still lay a long way off, it seemed. Some days, it just doesn't pay to talk to strangers. --The Reckoner
pmsl..even in the UK the preachy are amongst us , we now have budgeting advice provided by the government , you sit in a group of other life failures. I think im no longer welcome ..lol. But the gist is, your thick your stupid you have failed. Heres your notepad, show how much youve failed to the group , yet another humiliation for daring to be poor
ReplyDeleteGod, that's a grim image indeed -- official advice, doled out by a committee of Pollyanas? That's enough to make a lot of folks go back on their 12 step vows, I reckon... :-) The hard times are ramped up, so the lecturers are back in force. But keep yer head up, and thanks for stopping by the neighborhood. --The Reckoner
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